Idle John
Accomplished malingerer, and lazy good-for-nothing. Often to be found horizontal, especially after pub sessions. He goes to great lengths to avoid work and only goes grudgingly. Work will always turn him into the team's greatest curmudgeon. He is a firm believer that labour is the curse of the dancing classes. LIKES : Gingerbread-men, labradors, guitars, sleeping, snuff, dancing, chainsaws, rhubarb fool, henderson's relish, WPA and copious swilling of real ale. DISLIKES : Lager, pineapple, driving, voting, vacuum cleaners, injections, headlice, kebab shops, receiving text messages, central heating and TV. He has recently discovered he is allergic to sewing machines.